Earlier this year, I turned down a job opportunity that would involve training employees at my current company’s new locations. There were a lot of reasons I turned down the job, but I definitely fantasized about what I would tell my trainees. Later, I learned I would basically use a training script. Occasionally, I would wonder how I could incorporate OCD and mental health into the training.
When I first started my job, I had only been receiving treatment for about two and a half months. There were moments when I would freeze because of my OCD. I continued counseling and was taking medication, and over time, these moments occurred less frequently.
One part that still freaks me out is cleaning restrooms. Now, I don’t really mind using public restrooms- although I don’t like that the stall doors usually open into the stall. But cleaning them isn’t fun. Wiping questionable materials off toilet seats, cleaning disgusting toilets, changing out sanitary disposal boxes…UGH. I remember one night when the back of that tampon box touched my pants. I didn’t do much after that. When I told my co-worker about the incident, I was relieved to know she would have freaked out if it had happened to her.
Having a mental illness can make work more difficult. There are good days and bad days. Some nights, I just say, “Screw this. I’m not doing it. I can’t do it.” Disposal boxes are not completely emptied. Hands are washed multiple times. I’m not always a step ahead of OCD. But luckily, the good days outweigh the bad. There used to be days when I couldn’t get out of bed or wash my hair or even make it to my former job on time. What I want to say is that I’ve held this job for two years now. I’ve succeeded at it. My OCD struggles aren’t over, but life moves on. Have hope.